95240

Mothers face many challenges in todays world. They carry the responsibility of many roles. Through these roles we become different things to different people. Sometimes we get divided over having a career and having a families or find conflict between the different jobs that we try to do. Making the question Who am I? even harder to answer.

It grows harder because mothers see this little person that looks up at them with innocent trusting eyes, mommy is everything to that little one. She makes the hurt from boo-boos go away with a kiss, chases the monsters from under the bed away, and rocks them after a bad dream. Every mother takes that responsibility and carries it with her no matter where she goes. It is an awesome responsibility of caring for this wonderful little person and being mom is always on the mind. As much as it is wonderful to revel in mommyhood, we still need to remember that being a mother is just one part of us, the more we allow ourselves to see who we are the better examples we can set for our children to leading a balanced life.

As a mother, I have struggled to find my own identity. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner, a sister, a friend..but who am I? It is easy to define yourself by what you do and what you mean to other people. As we take on these different roles our own identity gets blurred. It is harder to make the distinction. Who am I if I am not Logans mom or Bens wife?

Who are you? A wife, a mother, an employee, they are all a part of who we are, but they do not define you. We are the only ones that are able to define who we are. When are we just women? Women that have our own values, ideas, and philosophies, women that are able to embrace their different roles in life, but still are able to maintain there sense of self.

The importance of women defining who they are is giving them a chance to grow as women. To recognize that they need to take off all the different hats that they wear during the day and take time to honor who they are.

The problem is that because they are in so many different roles that they stop seeing themselves separate from them. They stop taking time for themselves, because they are giving so much to everyone else. Does this sound familiar? Have you lost your identity among the different jobs that you do everyday? How do you see yourself?

Here are a few questions that can help you determine if you are defining yourself by what you do instead of who you are:

Do you spend at least an hour a day doing the things that you want to do? (Reading, participating in hobbies, watching your favorite TV program, etc)

When asked to describe yourself do you start with I enjoy or I am a woman that believe/feel.? Or do you say, I am a mother or I am a nurse

Are you able to say no to things that interfere with the things that you want to do? Or that you do not have time for?

Do you feel that your life is in balance? Which means that you get enough time to pursue your own interest instead of just the interest of your children or significant other?

Do you feel that you spend time equally on yourself as you do on others?

If you answered no to any of the questions it is time to get back in touch with yourself. You need to not only stop defining yourself by what you do but you need to spend sometime getting to know who you are.

Here are some tips for you to get in touch with the forgotten woman inside.

Make sure that you spend time perusing your own interests. The problem with defining yourself by what you do is that you dont give yourself time to do what you want to do; your time is spent doing for others. Do something that you have always wanted to do; take a class, start a book club, anything that gives you some time to just do your own thing. Above all make the time to do it! Its ok to do something for yourself.

Say NO frequently! Just because you take on different roles does not mean that you have to do everything for everybody. Recognize when there is something that others could really do for themselves. Do not let yourself be taken advantage of! REMEMBER it is just as much of a benefit for others to learn how to do for themselves as it is to you.

Make sure that you have OFF DUTY time! Just like a conventional job, make sure there is a time of day when you are done. Dont work right up until you go to bed. Give yourself time to unwind, distress, and relax. Wait until the kids are in bed and take a long hot bubble bath. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book. Meditate or do yoga. Do whatever relaxes you. You need this time to maintain some balance. Because of you multiple roles you are on the clock the majority of the time. You have to have time to distress! Without it you are going to burn out. Visualize your bank account if you keep making withdraws without making a deposit, eventually you are going to just run out of resources. Make sure to take time to revitalize yourself.

I have found that by maintaining my own identity that I am a better mother, wife, daughter, business owner, sister, and friend. It maintains balance in my life because I know that even though I am different things to different people; I know what it means to just be me.

about THE AUTHOR: Tonya Ramsey is a life coach and owner of Life By Design. She specializing in assisting working mothers find life balance to maintain a healthy and peaceful life. For more information on Tonyas services or to receive a free life coaching session to help you design the life that you want, visit Life By Design web site or send an e-mail. Why juggle your life when you can balance it.

[ copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey. All Rights Reserved. This article may be freely reproduced as long as the about THE AUTHOR at the bottom of this article is included unedited. Links must be Active/Linkable]

posted by 45193  # 6:35 PM 0 comments

When most people visit Niagara falls, they often head straight for the Canadian Side of the falls. Just across the Niagara River, in the united States, are some too-often-overlooked attractions and views of these majestic wonders. In the USA, one would be hard-pressed to differentiate Niagara falls, New york from any other small upstate town. Aside from a small collection of hotels and attractions around the falls, and the towering Seneca Niagara Casino, the American side of the falls has little to distinguish itself as one of the most-visited vacation destinations in the country. It is only until visitors approach almost the brink of the falls themselves where they see that the American side has many wonders to behold.

Niagara falls State Park
The united States part of Niagara falls is in the Niagara falls State Park (sometimes called "New york State Park" or "Niagara Reservation State Park"). Started in 1885, the park is the oldest state park in the united States. It was landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted who was one of the initiators and designers of the Niagara falls State Park but he is better known for another creation: New york City's Central Park.

The Niagara falls State Park manages and operates many of the attractions on this side of the falls. The park encompasses all of the American falls, Bridal Veil falls, Goat Island (and surrounding islands), and about one third of Horseshoe falls. Although the park itself is open year-round, including the Visitors Center, most of the attractions are seasonal and thus off-season adventures offer less direct activity with the falls.

The Visitors Center features general information about the falls, including a snack bar and gift shop. The large garden outside is maintained seasonally. Also in the Visitors Center is the Festival Theater, a year-round attraction which features the 1999 History channel movie, "Niagara falls: A History of the falls."

While most Niagara falls visitors will agree that the Canadian side of the falls is superior, with better views of all that great water, a distinct advantage to the American side is interestingly enough much closer access to the falls themselves, by actually standing "on top" of them (plus, visitors get a great view of Canada!).

Goat Island
Goat Island is the piece of land that separates Bridal Veil falls from Horseshoe falls. Accessible by car and part of the Niagara falls State Park, Goat Island has an interesting location. From here, visitors can see rapids up close, which lead to the American / Bridal Veil falls and Horseshoe falls. It is additionally the location of several of the parks best attractions. Though the island is big, because of its location and the surrounding hostile waters, it is slowly eroding and will eventually disappear as the three Niagara falls move upstream over many years. Goat Island is where several of the Niagara falls State Park attractions are located, including Cave of the Winds. Shuttles take visitors around Goat Island and throughout the park, but there are additionally many walking paths, benches, and scenic vistas on which to stroll around endlessly.

Luna Island
Luna Island is the tiny island that separates the Bridal Veil falls from the American falls. It is accessible on foot, but no cars are allowed (the island is so small, more than a few cars wouldnt fit, anyway). The walkway to Luna Island is on Goat Island. The walk to Luna Island is worth it, as it situates you in between two waterfalls, which is an unusual place to be.

American Rapids
The rapids approaching the American Falls visible only on the American side, roar through the middle of the park and around the several small islands before toppling over the brink of the American Falls. The rapids reach speeds of up to 25 miles per hour. At night, they may be illuminated with bright spotlights for a more unusual view.

Terrapin Point
Horseshoe Falls is bordered on the Canadian side by Table Rock Point, and on the American side by Terrapin Point. Here, visi-tors can feel the mist of Horseshoe Falls as they look across the gorge at canada. More remote than Table Rock Point, Terrapin Point has great views of the Canadian Fallsview resort sections, and the mist here can be just as powerful as Table Rock, if the conditions are right.

Cave of the Winds
The curious name of this quintessential attraction is misleading. Cave of the Winds is not a cave, but rather a walkway that leads visitors over to the base of Bridal Veil Falls the smallest of the three Niagara Falls. The attraction, however, used to be a cave. Named after the Aeolus, Greek God of wind, it stood behind Bridal Veil Falls and was a popular tourist spot as early as the 1800s. The earliest tourists had to climb down a rope, and eventually a staircase, to reach the cave. However, there were occasionally cave-ins, which killed or injured tourist. It was intentionally destroyed in 1955 because it was in danger of collapsing.

Visitors are given a poncho and special footwear prior to commencing the hour-long adventure. In groups, they are led with a tour guide down an elevator to near the base of Bridal Veil Falls. From there, they walk on a wooden walkway to what has been dubbed the "Hurricane Deck" the closest accessible point to the falls. It is at this point where visitors get positively soaked, sometimes even more than on Maid of the Mist. Ice makes the attraction largely inaccessible in the winter, and also requires the decks to be completely re-built each year a process which can take weeks.

Observation Tower
Located just beyond the Visitors Center in the Niagara Falls State Park, the Observation Tower is the best place in the united States to view the American and Horseshoe Falls. The tower extends out a little bit from the mainland, but still does not come close to the spectacular views from the Canadian side of the falls. Still, the tower offers a very different point of view than the one most visitors are used to. Also, there is a Maid of the Mist dock at the Observation Tower. When boarding here, the tour encompasses basically the same experience. However, near the dock, there is (when weather permits) a path where visitors can walk up next to the American Falls kind of like the Cave of the Winds, but free, and you dont get as wet.

Whirlpool State Park
Located on the American side of the Whirlpool Rapids area, the Whirlpool State Park is a hearty adventurers place. Here, a crude cement staircase makes a long descent into the Great Gorge, down to nearly the water level of the rapids. For those who dont wish to make the difficult descent, there is still the perfect place for picnics and play on the upper level, with great views of the whirlpool and rapids.

Dirk Vanderwilt is the author of several travel guidebooks for the Tourist Town Guides series. Tourist Town Guides offer independent, honest advice about America's top tourist hotspots.

For more information, visit http://www.touristtown.com

posted by 45193  # 9:18 AM 0 comments